An unwanted and unsolicited dialog has been happening at our home. Our 10 1/2 year old openly questioning her belief in Santa. Although, I would assume she had started having doubts last year, she was kind enough on my old soul to keep her curiosity silent.
That is until now.
The conversation started….
“Mom, so-in-so’s mom told her there is no such thing as Santa.” My initial quick response, I shouldn’t repeat. It caught me off guard and my guttural sense to preserve our children’s youth and naivety kicked in. The next day….again…..”Mom, so-in-so said her mom and dad let them pick what they want off their list. She has NO Santa gift.” I was a tad more prepared and responded gentler with; “Well, that’s great for their family but WE believe.” The last straw……. “Mom, seriously, I can handle it. I know the truth. Everyone else’s mom is honest with them.” I took a deep breath, turned and looked in those deep blue eyes to try and touch her soul and stated what I truly hope my family will always believe.
I said, “Libby, if you don’t believe in Christmas or in the existence of St. Nick, then it makes it difficult to trust in magic and miracles. In turn, it makes it unfathomable to believe that there will ever be a cure for Parkinson’s or hope for your dad. We have to be able to have confidence in things we don’t see. You just have to believe.”
Not that I expect her to fancy in a jolly old soul coming down the chimney forever but I do want her to trust in the true spirit of Christmas.
PS….. Damn you moms that think it’s ok to spread your disbelief. Sometimes that’s all we have and need.