I had to look the word resilient up in the dictionary. Maybe I didn’t have a clear understanding of this adjective that is frequently used to describe children and how they respond to many of life’s challenges. When talking honestly and openly about our children and Parkinson’s, we keep hearing “kids are resilient”. As if to discharge those little bodies with large minds and their journey through life with a parent who has an illness. Often when you state a worry about your child and how they are processing things, you are dismissed.
“They seem happy.”
“They will be fine.”
“Kids are resilient.”
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this……
Taken from Merriam-Websters Dictionary it reads – Resilient: Able to return to an original shape after being pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc..
I personally have a visceral response when I hear this uttered. My children will never “return to an original shape”. Their lives have been completely altered. Their hearts pulled and their minds stretched to limits that I truly wonder where the ceiling will be before breaking. Children are not prepared to see someone they love deeply suffer.
Our children are never going to “bounce back”, “rebound” or “recover”. They will be forever changed from what they witness, see and feel and that’s OK! It’s our firm belief that they will in turn make this world just a little better because not returning to their original form is pretty awesome too.
We choose to believe theyareThriving: to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances
Because their blue print has changed forever, they will have strong voices, be leaders, show compassion, be teachers, and become the best little advocates one could ask for!
Instagram is one of those social media platforms that some would say we opened the door too early and allowed our 11-year-old to partake in. Our concession to this method of communication comes with as many rules and regulations as Obamacare. One of the caveats would of course be, to monitor her account. Most of her posts are harmless selfies.
This Sunday when we checked we saw this.
An image of her and her dad at a cotillion father – daughter dance earlier in the year.
The picture is precious to me for many reasons
but now, add her comments (minus the spelling errors)
and it is truly priceless!
Libby is at the age when we, as her parents, can be embarrassing for a host of reasons. However, when your dad is not like all the other dads, physically, it seems to stand out. We are simply, more aware that his Parkinson’s Disease may add to her discomfort or questions from friends.
So, it was refreshing to see her proclaim “no madder” what, he’s her #1 man – for all to know.
The Magic of Hope Gala American Parkinson’s Association
We were lucky to meet many warriors of the disease who are valiantly fighting as well. We were happy to help raise awareness and money for programs and research that we believe will help those afflicted.
Copyright 2014 Garet Munger
We were humbled that Russell Wilson would take a moment to help support our cause by speaking and donating.
Attached is a clip from his tribute to Don.
I know Don was honored to hear Russell’s words but honestly, upon reflection we both agreed that he had given a gift to the Parkinson’s community and our family – especially, our girls.
As the disease progresses and the father they once knew is harder and harder to see, they will have this small token from Russell.
Helping them remember what a difference Don made in his career as a coach and human being.
When you look at yourself as just “a number”, like the 1 million people living with Parkinson’s disease in the U.S.. It’s often hard to think you matter or more importantly, you can make a difference.
The daunting figure – 3 out of 5 Americans will suffer from a nervous system disease, means that someone you know, love or possibly yourself will be in this statistic.
It’s when you start looking at specific numbers that are generated that you realize people do care and had the forethought to implement actions to bring relief.
A few numbers :
$70 Million dollars was given out by The Michael J Fox Foundation alone in 2013 to new and promising research. They funded more research in 2013 than in any year prior!
Thanks to the amazing generosity of donors, 5.9 is the total dollars (in millions!) raised by Team Fox members alone in 2013 to help speed a cure for Parkinson’s disease.
Everyone can make a difference, even just one person.
The number my children display to help make a difference in their dads day is – 7.
She shoots.. she scores… a smile from her dad
You see, back in the day, his number, “lucky” number, was 70. Many a days were spent cloaked in a jersey, representing a team as #70. That was during a time when your name was never on the back of the jersey because you were part of a team. As Don relays, no one name stood out, as a team you all stood together. Much like our fight now!
The girls always want to cary a part of him with them. So they try to show they care and want to carry on his strength by wearing a piece of a number that meant something to him.
When he watches them play sports, much like the chances of him getting Parkinson’s, the feeling he has is 1 in a million!
many ask me personally “What my home run is for our company” My answer is simple. There isn’t one until there is a cure. Therefore, for the month of April – Parkinson’s Awareness Month, we are donating a percentage of each purchase to the michael j. foundation to help fund a cure. I truly belive we are all in this together!
Below is the Blog that was posted on behalf of MagnaReady® and MJF and teamFox
MagnaReady Supports Team Fox for Parkinson’s Awareness Month
Posted by Maura Horton, April 02, 2014
Editor’s Note: With herportion of proceeds campaign launching this April, we asked Team Fox member and MagnaReady creator Maura Horton to tell us the story behind her innovative magnetic button down shirts.
“Mom, will you button my shirt?”
As a mother of two young children, this is a question that I have heard repeatedly over the last 10 years. When one child mastered the skill, the second began to verbalize the same basic need. Somewhere in the mix, I started hearing the same pleas from my husband Don. As the limited mobility effects of Parkinson’s began to set in, he was beginning to struggle with this simple task as well.
First, I started noticing that I was ready before Don; something that had never happened in our many years of marriage. I was the one now standing at the bottom of the stairs inquiring, “How much longer?”, pressing him, “We are going to be late!” During our morning routine, I would witness instinctive, honest-loving moments from our two girls, jumping up on our bed, using it as a ladder, to help their 6-foot-4 athletic father get ready for work by helping him to button his dress shirt. I was naive, and thought that this challenge only happened for him when he was in the privacy of our home, not really giving thought to how Don got dressed when we weren’t around. He has Parkinson’s, but we rarely ever talked about the limitations. To admit to the struggle would mean acceptance.
As a college football coach, Don traveled quite a bit with a busy schedule in and out of locker rooms and hotels. The season brings early mornings and late nights, and honestly not a lot of time for small talk in between. However, on one particular night, after coming in from away game, he was anxious to tell me, “I had a hard day.” He repeated and elaborated, “I had a hard day. A player had to help me get dressed to catch the team plane.” Once he spoke of all the particulars I desperately wanted to help him. This was, after all, a man who never complained.
I realized in his words that despite the wins and losses on the field, here in this moment, my husband felt defeated. His dignity had been lost, and the simple fact that his body was betraying him was almost unbearable. For over twenty years, I had been on the sidelines watching Don be a leader, inspiring his players to be better players; to be better men. Mentally, I knew he could overcome the changes he was going through and could motivate himself to stay strong and move forward, but physically, I realized, that his battle with Parkinson’s was not going to be a fair fight, and I could see that my husband’s spirit was starting to deflate.
Getting dressed shouldn’t be stressful; living with a disability is hard enough. As I thought through how I could help, the epiphany came, and soon MagnaReady – Stress Free Shirting was born. If there is anything that I have learned from being a coach’s wife, perseverance prevails and something constructive comes from every defeat.
How you can join us this April for Parkinson’s Awareness month:
In our office hangs a sign that says – “Remember Why You Started”. Our mission is simple and MagnaReady is dedicated to giving back to the Parkinson’s community that we are proud to be a part of. So throughout the month of April, MagnaReady is committed to donating 10 percent of every purchase to the MJF Foundation during Parkinson’s Awareness Month.
A thing we have learned on this journey, is that a disease affects the whole family and to not listen and validate our children’s voices would be ill-advised.
Children’s words are often uncomplicated and simplistic.
Our eldest daughter came down the stairs a year ago, handed me a letter and declared “I need you to mail this.”
The White House Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC
I hesitated…… my brain unable to process what was happening…… came to… and said yes.
I opened it.
“He dint do anything wrong.”
Read and re-read it.
Wept for her reality.
He Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
Drove to the post office
and as I slipped it in the mail slot, I felt overwhelmed by her ability not only to articulate but to EXPECT change.
Because as a family we stand together, united to speak out, proud and leaning forward for those with disabilities that aren’t treated fairly. It’s NOT enough to just wish Don to get better but, as a unified group, we have to BE better and foster change.
Libby did receive a response back from The President.
I think she felt she was heard.
Her truth was hard to handle but the real truth of being fired because you have a disease is a blinding reality for too many people in our community.
Quote is by Katharine Hepburn – Many know her from her amazing breath of work on-screen. Others know her for having Essential Tremor as well.
Essential Tremor is a neurological condition that causes a rhythmic trembling of the hands, head, voice, legs or trunk. Some even feel an internal shake. It is often confused with Parkinson’s disease although ET is eight times more common and affects an estimated 10 million Americans alone.
“Now to squash a rumor. No, I don’t have Parkinson’s. I inherited my shaking head from my grandfather Hepburn. I discovered that whiskey helps stop the shaking. Problem is, if you’re not careful, it stops the rest of you too. My head just shakes, but I promise you, it ain’t gonna fall off!”.
Often there is a struggle trying to communicate what the journey with a life changing diagnosis such as Parkinson’s is like…. to quantify or elucidate. We all experience it differently, through our own unique lens.
I know that we can not control our children’s outlook but only help them navigate. I have learned however, to not try to define or categorize their concerns, questions or fears but to try to see the light through their ever shifting vantage point.
Some times it’s a close up and it is all you or they can see
Close ups provide perspective.
and other times the lens is wider.
Panoramic views provide hope.
Every journey is different. Every moment, every decision, every prayer.
We all experience things in our own time and our own ways.
Through the pilgrimage you will truly LOVE the ones who may not be able to see all the stones on your path but can still visualize the panoramic view of your trek.